To Be Human

To have flesh.  To live within walls called time.  To feel tired, to sense hunger, to shiver from cold.  To be injured, alone, uncertain, vulnerable.

Being human is hard.  The body, the physical element.  The veil.  Oh the veil.  Separated from the unseen and forgotten many many souls of angels who lovingly and watchfully surround me at all times.  Oh the veil!  I often look at my picture of Jesus and wonder what He would say.  What facial expressions I might see.  How His voice might sound.  But I can't know, not for a very long long time yet.  For this time, I must know other things of my current nature.  Pain.  Sorrow.  Darkness.  I must even know shame.  For this time I must fight the good fight and choose to claim victory, coming out conqueror as I take upon myself the experiences of the world, and discover what true joy, freedom, and love really means.  Because I take upon myself the name of Christ.

I wish for love.  I wish for friendship, companionship, intimacy.  I wish for a family.  I wish for my own great adventure, full of color, majesty, grass stains, and repair work.  And sweetness.  And sunsets.  And various grand surprises, good and bad!  I wish to cease my goal to "survive," and begin a new life focused on thrive.  I wish for fear to flee, and faith to flourish.  I wish to make mistakes, lots of mistakes.  I wish to take risks, kill the comfort zone, break the barriers, and discover daily hidden treasures.  Hidden in my heart.  Hidden in the word of God.  Hidden in my past, present and future.  I wish to capture and contain treasures already revealed, and never let them escape.

I wish to hold the face of my Savior gently in each hand, to look in His eyes, and tell Him thank you.  One day.

Being human is hard.  But as a human myself, I have found the soothing balm of gilead is constantly available to borrow.  The armor of God is strong for suit.  The seeds of faith are ready to move mountains.  The iron rod stands firm and constant.  The living waters are flowing freely.  The bread of life remains an endless supply.  The Rock of salvation never crumbles nor shakes when we need a place of rest and reassurance.

Being human is a journey.  Both very hard, and exquisitely marvelous.