Pigeon Holes

I am not an addict.  I struggle with addiction.
I am not a lesbian.  I struggle with a lack of feelings for or interest in the opposite gender.
I am not codependent.  I struggle with codependency.
I am not forgetful air-headed ditzy oblivious or light-minded.  I have a lot on my mind and struggle keeping organized and I struggle with forgetfulness.
I'm not lazy.  I struggle with a lack of confidence in myself and others.

This could be a blog about same gender attraction.  Or about codependency.  Or about 12 steps.  Or about losing a mother to mental illness or about sexual addiction or about regularly locking keys in one's car or anxiety or depression.

I want to be clear with myself, with God, and others.  Mostly myself right now.

I am a person.  I am a child a God.  I am a temporarily fallen divine being saved eternally by grace according to my works.

This is no longer an addiction blog.  This is a blog about overcoming the natural man through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and what that looks like for me.  I will pretty much be sharing the same stuff.  When I share.  If I share.

I'm also on this new kick of avoiding things I feel like I "should" do (it's kind of a problem).  I will only blog when I want to.  Which could be months between posts.

I may or may not read your blog.  I may or may not comment.
I have no expectation for you to read my blog or comment.
Of course, comments are welcome - I'm just killing the expectation.  I hate expectations.  Hate them.  I struggle with them, and they make me miserable.

I have no intentions of blogging for anyone else, nor do I expect anyone else to blog for me.

Haha... yeah... I know.  I'm being defensive due to imagined opposition imposed by the adversary.  I obviously have been stirring several lots of many issues around my brain concerning blogging.  I love blogging and it's been a great outlet for me.  I've also learned a whole lot from others.  But in my mind, I feel extremely . . .  what's a good word . . . unsettled?  About it.  I feel I've been pigeon holed as SOMETHING and I hate it.  Because I'm not a sex addict or codependent or anything else, and I don't care to blog from the idea that I am.  I realize that others may not read my blog thinking "this is a sex addict blog" and I realize that idea and fear has been imposed by myself and I'm keeping myself from progressing  blogging because of that fear.  I understand that.  This post is a step in working through that, because I would like to blog more and feel safe in doing so.  So.  There it is.

Bed time.  Good night.